25 Comments
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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

Love this! So hilarious, witty, and true! 🤩 My husband considers himself an “ugly duckling” and only got “hot” and muscular later and it’s sad how much that impacted him. And I’ve always been ridiculously insecure but definitely I could see when I was “thinner and hotter” how much easier life seemed to be. 🤔

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Wrong Channel's avatar

It is a very strange thing, it certainly hampers your confidence. I’m glad your husband has accepted his hotness!

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Tone Caruso's avatar

Ugly duckling here going through my glow up. It's earth shattering

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Wrong Channel's avatar

It's fucking weird isn't it, man! What I would say is, don't go wrong where I did, and actually believe they find you attractive. All in all, you've probably nailed the game of life, the kind, funny personality of the homely, now with the looks to boot. Glow on, my fellow gosling!

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Rebecca's avatar

I'll never forget my dad a math PhD once tell me that everyone one has an optimal distance from which to view their beauty.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

I think mine is 20 yards to the rear

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Heidi Darby's avatar

So glad this was my coffee shop read this morning. I giggled, questioned my worth, answered for my worth, and giggled again. Nice when you can walk away from an article knowing it will linger in the best way possible.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha thanks very much Heidi! What's your favourite kind of lingering, are you in team stubborn smell or the ostracised child camp?

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Heidi Darby's avatar

Hmmm… If I can only choose one I’d say I’m in the ostracized child camp. Cheers!

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha I was a smelly ostracised teen, so I am welcome in both and neither

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Graham Cunningham's avatar

Excellent witty piece. By coincidence I will be posting an article on this subject in the September post on my own Substack..... with title 'The Less Desired'.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

Thanks Graham! I’m glad you enjoyed it. There’s me saying nobody mentions it - and we both happen to be banging on about it at the exact same time

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Graham Cunningham's avatar

I'll send it you as a reply to this when I've posted it (around Sept 2 ).

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Wrong Channel's avatar

Cheers, Graham! Please do. I’ll happily check out another contribution to our very own sub genre.

Here’s a couple of my, hopefully, wittier articles you might enjoy:

Words that are played out: https://wrongchannel.substack.com/p/5-words-played-out

Why we retire slang

https://wrongchannel.substack.com/p/when-retire-slang

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Graham Cunningham's avatar

Thanks Sam. I'll read them over the coming days and - if they're anything like the one I already read - then they'll bring a wry smile. My own Slouching Towards Bethlehem Substack is not one that majors on wittiness - although it does aspire to be perceptive (the basis of much wit) - but this particular article, I like to think of as a witty one: https://grahamcunningham.substack.com/p/englishness-as-a-brand

Maybe we can compare notes once we've read each other's?

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Wrong Channel's avatar

Thanks Graham and cheers for picking this one out. I’ll give it a read and we’ve got ourselves a plan

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Graham Cunningham's avatar

Loved these two. Your quirky (is that an old man's slang?) combination of life's theatre-of-absurd with a perverse but delightful logic-chopping makes for a real good laugh....I pick out "I will give consent with ‘crack on’, right to that last bed-bound morphine hit." Well done!

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Wrong Channel's avatar

This is a cool concept you've got yourself here. For illiterate chumps like myself, we come for the booze, stay for the poetry. I think gimlet is my word of the day. I'm going to drink 7 of them and repeat it until it has even less meaning. Thanks for sharing!

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