Well, once again you've unearthed a word I had to look up -- this time it was "yonk". I spent ten years drinking in pubs in England and never once heard that word. So, thanks. I'll have to make a special trip to the Frog and British pub here in Paris today just to get the chance to overuse it. As for the rest of what you wrote, yes -- and in lieu of participating in expected social roles, you could take a page from Bartleby and just say "I would prefer not to,"
haha the yonk is only really ever used in "I haven't X in yonks". A yonks are a uncountable unit of time like a longer while. haha go for it, drop those yonks. I think probably two yonks a week is the max anyone can get away with. They're strong stuff. I definitely would prefer to. I think I should just organise more shit with my friends
I've just got to the bottom of this discussion elsewhere
Technically speaking, If we think of "dog years" as a way to compare a dog's age to human aging, we can try to apply a similar concept for donkeys, though it’s less common.
Since donkeys typically live around 25 to 30 years and humans live about 75 to 80 years on average, we could estimate a "donkey year" by dividing human life expectancy by donkey life expectancy.
Using this ratio:
75 (average human life) ÷ 30 (average donkey life) = about 2.5.
So, roughly speaking, one "donkey year" could be around 2.5 human years.
If I'm saying I haven’t seen him in yonks/ donkey’s years. My gut feeling is yonks about 9 years. Ages. As it’s plural it must be at least 2 years. But you wouldn’t say years for two yonks. So I’d say it’s got to be at least three. So a single yonk is three years.
Maybe that's as I'm older. If I was a 17 saying I haven't seen him in yonks , it might be two weeks. Yonks defy space time
'Yonks' used to be common parlance for the 20 to 30 year olds back in Australia during the 1980s, among FRIENDS (more like common-activity-acquaintances), outside the work environment, often in groups where conversations steeped in hyperbole were the rule.
Lack of definition and bragging about an impossible length of time (we were so young) procured the necessary freedom for us to try out loud the projections of wilful, mostly misinformed imaginations and dunk it all in the macerating mix of 'yonk-years'. 'Things' became soft and pliable that way, easily ingested, and much comfort was achieved effortlessly.
By the way, great take on 'Men Not Having Friends'; I noticed no exaggeration there. Thank you.
I noticed a similar trend in my life. At 56, there is no one but the wife. No one calls, no one stops by. I get the odd occasional text from a couple guys I used to know but they are on the other side of the continent now.
I loved this assay into the world of male friendships. I've had a very different experience. I was an educator in New York and teachers tend to be more verbal in general, and since they're on display all day long, they are more ready to reach out to adults when the kids go home. Now, in retirement, I do my writing in a Barnes and Noble out here in CA. and have made a bunch of terrific friends. Come on out, Logan, and I'll introduce you. (I just noticed the strange keyboarding error that changed your name. Sorry. I fixed it.)
Thanks very much Sandy! Teaching is a great profession for mining friends. I picked up one lasting gem teaching in Spain and another in Italy. haha yeah I remember that feeling of closing the staff room door and immediately dropping the act and laying into the students, or perhaps that was just me. That's awesome you struck up some homies in the coffee shop. Thank you, kindly. I'll be on the next flight over! Maybe I'll give a cafe a go. The only thing is I'm a bit anal, I prefer total silence, if I can get it.
It certainly does! I always a clique of smart-taking writer friends, and you definitely fall into that category. I probably exchange silliness with you more than many of my supposedly in-person friends
Pros: Closest conversations, know each other well, have great chats and catch ups over coffee or beer.
Cons: They’re often living in a different city/country. Can easily fall out for years at a time.
2) Boyfriends of my girlfriends friends:
Pros: Can be awesome to have a girlfriends friends boyfriend to hang out with as you can go on couples food dates, holidays, parties etc. Also a cool way to expand your social circle. You will see each other quite frequently as girlfriends always see their friends.
Cons: Sometimes there can be big personality differences and as a result it’s harder to bond or form a friendship. They’re probably not that similar to you.
3) University friends:
Pros: You most likely have very similar interests due doing the same degree or societies and also navigating towards each other.
Plenty of gay bros will gladly call you up for brunch. The straight guys in my life don’t make much effort, but I spent the last two snow days stuck with my gay bros at a sleep over. Drinking, charcuterie, breakfast, bad movies, doggos.
Ah man I need to get me a gay bro. My girlfriend has a great one I could probably nab. The straight friend can be a funny old breed. My friends from home never propose anything, but the once a year we do go out, we all have a gay old time and say we should do this more often
My ex’s lack of friends meant I was his everything, which sounds romantic but it’s not. It’s awful. At least pretend to have a friend and then go sit alone somewhere.
haha yeah I could see that getting a bit overbearing. I’ve just replaced friendship with writing. Friends are a bad for writing, that’s what they don’t tell you.
Well, I have to say: I don’t have any friends, at least, in the way women I’ve dated have friends: someone they have long phone calls with at least once a week, a little group they have over for dinner on Fridays, someone to have long heart-to-heart talks with on occasion. And, to be honest, I don’t really want any friends: having nice co-workers and life partner is just absolutely fine, all the social interaction I need. I get a little annoyed by women who find that…odd. I’m not broken, I’m just different from them.
You’re not wrong. I always frame it this way… my worst days by myself are like fucking birthday parties compared to those days when my gf was laying into me. The stress became unbearable. Who needs it.
Well, once again you've unearthed a word I had to look up -- this time it was "yonk". I spent ten years drinking in pubs in England and never once heard that word. So, thanks. I'll have to make a special trip to the Frog and British pub here in Paris today just to get the chance to overuse it. As for the rest of what you wrote, yes -- and in lieu of participating in expected social roles, you could take a page from Bartleby and just say "I would prefer not to,"
haha the yonk is only really ever used in "I haven't X in yonks". A yonks are a uncountable unit of time like a longer while. haha go for it, drop those yonks. I think probably two yonks a week is the max anyone can get away with. They're strong stuff. I definitely would prefer to. I think I should just organise more shit with my friends
Where I come from, yonks is from donkey's years, which became yonkeys dears, then yonks.
awesome! So that's the source of the yonks, how lovely. Exactly how many years makes up a yonk in this day and age
According to the Urban Dictionary, a yonk is exactly 3 months and 13 days. And who am I to argue?
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=YONKS
I am me to argue with that!
I've just got to the bottom of this discussion elsewhere
Technically speaking, If we think of "dog years" as a way to compare a dog's age to human aging, we can try to apply a similar concept for donkeys, though it’s less common.
Since donkeys typically live around 25 to 30 years and humans live about 75 to 80 years on average, we could estimate a "donkey year" by dividing human life expectancy by donkey life expectancy.
Using this ratio:
75 (average human life) ÷ 30 (average donkey life) = about 2.5.
So, roughly speaking, one "donkey year" could be around 2.5 human years.
If I'm saying I haven’t seen him in yonks/ donkey’s years. My gut feeling is yonks about 9 years. Ages. As it’s plural it must be at least 2 years. But you wouldn’t say years for two yonks. So I’d say it’s got to be at least three. So a single yonk is three years.
Maybe that's as I'm older. If I was a 17 saying I haven't seen him in yonks , it might be two weeks. Yonks defy space time
I feel Yonks defy space time is an accurate summation :)
Totally!
'Yonks' used to be common parlance for the 20 to 30 year olds back in Australia during the 1980s, among FRIENDS (more like common-activity-acquaintances), outside the work environment, often in groups where conversations steeped in hyperbole were the rule.
Lack of definition and bragging about an impossible length of time (we were so young) procured the necessary freedom for us to try out loud the projections of wilful, mostly misinformed imaginations and dunk it all in the macerating mix of 'yonk-years'. 'Things' became soft and pliable that way, easily ingested, and much comfort was achieved effortlessly.
By the way, great take on 'Men Not Having Friends'; I noticed no exaggeration there. Thank you.
"The jarring fact that everyday life will happen every day of your life, squeezes friendship into the weary cracks between everything else. "
Very good. You pass.
Thanks very much. Passed what?
I blame the decline of the three martini lunch...
Let's take to the streets!
I noticed a similar trend in my life. At 56, there is no one but the wife. No one calls, no one stops by. I get the odd occasional text from a couple guys I used to know but they are on the other side of the continent now.
Sucks. But there it is.
It is rubbish, isn't it. It's a strange thing. I was sure I had loads of them around here somewhere, but I seem to have mislaid them.
I loved this assay into the world of male friendships. I've had a very different experience. I was an educator in New York and teachers tend to be more verbal in general, and since they're on display all day long, they are more ready to reach out to adults when the kids go home. Now, in retirement, I do my writing in a Barnes and Noble out here in CA. and have made a bunch of terrific friends. Come on out, Logan, and I'll introduce you. (I just noticed the strange keyboarding error that changed your name. Sorry. I fixed it.)
Thanks very much Sandy! Teaching is a great profession for mining friends. I picked up one lasting gem teaching in Spain and another in Italy. haha yeah I remember that feeling of closing the staff room door and immediately dropping the act and laying into the students, or perhaps that was just me. That's awesome you struck up some homies in the coffee shop. Thank you, kindly. I'll be on the next flight over! Maybe I'll give a cafe a go. The only thing is I'm a bit anal, I prefer total silence, if I can get it.
I'm a well-wisher and enthusiastic supporter of yours, Sam, does that count as friendship?
And thank you very much for your wishing wells!
It certainly does! I always a clique of smart-taking writer friends, and you definitely fall into that category. I probably exchange silliness with you more than many of my supposedly in-person friends
Sam, don't give me ideas. I can be so silly you'll probably want to break my fingers.
haha I would only want to break your fingers in the name of silliness
I find the hierarchy goes like this:
1) School friends:
Pros: Closest conversations, know each other well, have great chats and catch ups over coffee or beer.
Cons: They’re often living in a different city/country. Can easily fall out for years at a time.
2) Boyfriends of my girlfriends friends:
Pros: Can be awesome to have a girlfriends friends boyfriend to hang out with as you can go on couples food dates, holidays, parties etc. Also a cool way to expand your social circle. You will see each other quite frequently as girlfriends always see their friends.
Cons: Sometimes there can be big personality differences and as a result it’s harder to bond or form a friendship. They’re probably not that similar to you.
3) University friends:
Pros: You most likely have very similar interests due doing the same degree or societies and also navigating towards each other.
Cons: Will only see each other 3-5 times a year.
4) Friends from hobbies:
Pros: Share the same interest
Cons: hard to initiate and form the friendship
Man I wish had enough for a hierarchy. Well, I do have, but none closeby. That could be the start of an article, different types of friends maybe
the boys are lonely :(
certainly looks that way!
Plenty of gay bros will gladly call you up for brunch. The straight guys in my life don’t make much effort, but I spent the last two snow days stuck with my gay bros at a sleep over. Drinking, charcuterie, breakfast, bad movies, doggos.
Ah man I need to get me a gay bro. My girlfriend has a great one I could probably nab. The straight friend can be a funny old breed. My friends from home never propose anything, but the once a year we do go out, we all have a gay old time and say we should do this more often
My ex’s lack of friends meant I was his everything, which sounds romantic but it’s not. It’s awful. At least pretend to have a friend and then go sit alone somewhere.
haha yeah I could see that getting a bit overbearing. I’ve just replaced friendship with writing. Friends are a bad for writing, that’s what they don’t tell you.
I relate to this
Well, I have to say: I don’t have any friends, at least, in the way women I’ve dated have friends: someone they have long phone calls with at least once a week, a little group they have over for dinner on Fridays, someone to have long heart-to-heart talks with on occasion. And, to be honest, I don’t really want any friends: having nice co-workers and life partner is just absolutely fine, all the social interaction I need. I get a little annoyed by women who find that…odd. I’m not broken, I’m just different from them.
Whatever works for you, the only important thing is that your happy
I’m confused. Do you or don’t you want friends? If you don’t, sounds like you are a wild success. If you do, time to sack up.
Haha you make a fair point. It’s confirmed they are fucking off. So I’ll have to attend an ex pats gala or whatever
I moved to a new city during the medical intervention histrionics. Solitude is preferable.
It’s cozy for a while but a fella can be too cozy
I’m good with it
I’ve adapted, but I do get lonely some times
You’re not wrong. I always frame it this way… my worst days by myself are like fucking birthday parties compared to those days when my gf was laying into me. The stress became unbearable. Who needs it.
But I do value time myself as well, I get more shit done. Also the times I fuck up writing are always when I’m back home being silly.
That sounds awful man. Glad you got out by the sounds of things
It really do be like this
It really do