Well, once again you've unearthed a word I had to look up -- this time it was "yonk". I spent ten years drinking in pubs in England and never once heard that word. So, thanks. I'll have to make a special trip to the Frog and British pub here in Paris today just to get the chance to overuse it. As for the rest of what you wrote, yes -- and in lieu of participating in expected social roles, you could take a page from Bartleby and just say "I would prefer not to,"
haha the yonk is only really ever used in "I haven't X in yonks". A yonks are a uncountable unit of time like a longer while. haha go for it, drop those yonks. I think probably two yonks a week is the max anyone can get away with. They're strong stuff. I definitely would prefer to. I think I should just organise more shit with my friends
I've just got to the bottom of this discussion elsewhere
Technically speaking, If we think of "dog years" as a way to compare a dog's age to human aging, we can try to apply a similar concept for donkeys, though it’s less common.
Since donkeys typically live around 25 to 30 years and humans live about 75 to 80 years on average, we could estimate a "donkey year" by dividing human life expectancy by donkey life expectancy.
Using this ratio:
75 (average human life) ÷ 30 (average donkey life) = about 2.5.
So, roughly speaking, one "donkey year" could be around 2.5 human years.
If I'm saying I haven’t seen him in yonks/ donkey’s years. My gut feeling is yonks about 9 years. Ages. As it’s plural it must be at least 2 years. But you wouldn’t say years for two yonks. So I’d say it’s got to be at least three. So a single yonk is three years.
Maybe that's as I'm older. If I was a 17 saying I haven't seen him in yonks , it might be two weeks. Yonks defy space time
I noticed a similar trend in my life. At 56, there is no one but the wife. No one calls, no one stops by. I get the odd occasional text from a couple guys I used to know but they are on the other side of the continent now.
I loved this assay into the world of male friendships. I've had a very different experience. I was an educator in New York and teachers tend to be more verbal in general, and since they're on display all day long, they are more ready to reach out to adults when the kids go home. Now, in retirement, I do my writing in a Barnes and Noble out here in CA. and have made a bunch of terrific friends. Come on out, Logan, and I'll introduce you. (I just noticed the strange keyboarding error that changed your name. Sorry. I fixed it.)
Thanks very much Sandy! Teaching is a great profession for mining friends. I picked up one lasting gem teaching in Spain and another in Italy. haha yeah I remember that feeling of closing the staff room door and immediately dropping the act and laying into the students, or perhaps that was just me. That's awesome you struck up some homies in the coffee shop. Thank you, kindly. I'll be on the next flight over! Maybe I'll give a cafe a go. The only thing is I'm a bit anal, I prefer total silence, if I can get it.
It certainly does! I always a clique of smart-taking writer friends, and you definitely fall into that category. I probably exchange silliness with you more than many of my supposedly in-person friends
Too real. Yeah, being rejected by another potential dude friend over 30 sucks.
I'm convinced nothing short of total war will guarantee that I make new guy friends in the future. Most guys are walking a completely different road than I am at the moment. It took a some time, but I've come to accept that.
Yeah it is rubbish isn’t it. I’d take a war for some company. I think the only way it could happen is if you meet someone who also doesn’t currently have friends. because most people don’t have time to see their own current friends. I kinda getcha. No friends = time for writing. So that’s something.
I can’t recommend it to you if you don’t actually believe it or have a genuine spiritual desire to learn more, but the Orthodox Church really gave me a social life after my high school friends moved on (or didn’t move on, which was even worse) and COVID killed any chances of a regular social life at college. In the Church, you have regular sustained contact with a group of people who have a genuine desire to meet others and connect with them as true friends.
Real life still gets in the way and makes it difficult to do fun stuff on the side, but you’re guaranteed a few hours of good conversation and face time with friends nearly every Sunday and on many Saturdays. Most people I know in the Orthodox Church have a healthy social circle that revolves around it, though I don’t know how true that is for other Christian denominations. But you can’t just go to the Orthodox Church because you want friends, or because it better accommodates your political beliefs, or some other superficial reason. There has to be a genuine desire to grow in the faith of God, and any other good thing comes out of that.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful message. I'm not religious. I believe in god in a kind of abstract way, but dont have any desire to become a member of a religion. It sure does look cozy and friendly in there sometimes though - and I appreciate you taking the time to reach out
Formula 1 is fun as hell. But yeah, I'm in 2 bands, one of which has followers I'm not related to; and I still have to pursue folks to spend any off-duty time with them. It doesn't help that I work graveyard shift; + the US in general has forgotten that folks like me exist. But that's peripheral to the point, I guess.
I still try with people, but never quite connect on that level.
Maybe my time will come for formula one. I don't drive, so that probably doesn't help. That's cool you've got the band going on. That sounds like a fun social thing to be doing. That must be difficult matching up with people timezones.
I guess we just keep on trying eh. Maybe it's just a matter of hitting it off hard enough
A lot of people I work with don’t have any friends, but that’s because they’re assholes. I’d hate for the only social interaction I’d have to be through work.
I don't thinnnnnk I'm asshole, despite the mounting evidence to the contrary. I am lucky in that I work with some of my friends, who I was friends with before work, but remotely
Have you thought about offering people drugs to be your friend? Nothing says friendship like free pharmaceuticals. I'll be your friend! We’ll each take a strip of acid each and write articles about it.
haha yeah that's a good in. When I was young and popular people were always trying to buy my friendship with drugs. I took drugs, left the friendship, oldest trick in the book
Thanks for the reccommendation, I'll take it for a spin. haha yeah I suspect that's the case, I just need to shit out a couple of kids and get on with it. That's probably the natural hole-filler
Well, once again you've unearthed a word I had to look up -- this time it was "yonk". I spent ten years drinking in pubs in England and never once heard that word. So, thanks. I'll have to make a special trip to the Frog and British pub here in Paris today just to get the chance to overuse it. As for the rest of what you wrote, yes -- and in lieu of participating in expected social roles, you could take a page from Bartleby and just say "I would prefer not to,"
haha the yonk is only really ever used in "I haven't X in yonks". A yonks are a uncountable unit of time like a longer while. haha go for it, drop those yonks. I think probably two yonks a week is the max anyone can get away with. They're strong stuff. I definitely would prefer to. I think I should just organise more shit with my friends
Where I come from, yonks is from donkey's years, which became yonkeys dears, then yonks.
awesome! So that's the source of the yonks, how lovely. Exactly how many years makes up a yonk in this day and age
According to the Urban Dictionary, a yonk is exactly 3 months and 13 days. And who am I to argue?
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=YONKS
I am me to argue with that!
I've just got to the bottom of this discussion elsewhere
Technically speaking, If we think of "dog years" as a way to compare a dog's age to human aging, we can try to apply a similar concept for donkeys, though it’s less common.
Since donkeys typically live around 25 to 30 years and humans live about 75 to 80 years on average, we could estimate a "donkey year" by dividing human life expectancy by donkey life expectancy.
Using this ratio:
75 (average human life) ÷ 30 (average donkey life) = about 2.5.
So, roughly speaking, one "donkey year" could be around 2.5 human years.
If I'm saying I haven’t seen him in yonks/ donkey’s years. My gut feeling is yonks about 9 years. Ages. As it’s plural it must be at least 2 years. But you wouldn’t say years for two yonks. So I’d say it’s got to be at least three. So a single yonk is three years.
Maybe that's as I'm older. If I was a 17 saying I haven't seen him in yonks , it might be two weeks. Yonks defy space time
I feel Yonks defy space time is an accurate summation :)
I blame the decline of the three martini lunch...
Let's take to the streets!
I noticed a similar trend in my life. At 56, there is no one but the wife. No one calls, no one stops by. I get the odd occasional text from a couple guys I used to know but they are on the other side of the continent now.
Sucks. But there it is.
It is rubbish, isn't it. It's a strange thing. I was sure I had loads of them around here somewhere, but I seem to have mislaid them.
"The jarring fact that everyday life will happen every day of your life, squeezes friendship into the weary cracks between everything else. "
Very good. You pass.
Thanks very much. Passed what?
I loved this assay into the world of male friendships. I've had a very different experience. I was an educator in New York and teachers tend to be more verbal in general, and since they're on display all day long, they are more ready to reach out to adults when the kids go home. Now, in retirement, I do my writing in a Barnes and Noble out here in CA. and have made a bunch of terrific friends. Come on out, Logan, and I'll introduce you. (I just noticed the strange keyboarding error that changed your name. Sorry. I fixed it.)
Thanks very much Sandy! Teaching is a great profession for mining friends. I picked up one lasting gem teaching in Spain and another in Italy. haha yeah I remember that feeling of closing the staff room door and immediately dropping the act and laying into the students, or perhaps that was just me. That's awesome you struck up some homies in the coffee shop. Thank you, kindly. I'll be on the next flight over! Maybe I'll give a cafe a go. The only thing is I'm a bit anal, I prefer total silence, if I can get it.
I'm a well-wisher and enthusiastic supporter of yours, Sam, does that count as friendship?
And thank you very much for your wishing wells!
It certainly does! I always a clique of smart-taking writer friends, and you definitely fall into that category. I probably exchange silliness with you more than many of my supposedly in-person friends
Sam, don't give me ideas. I can be so silly you'll probably want to break my fingers.
haha I would only want to break your fingers in the name of silliness
Too real. Yeah, being rejected by another potential dude friend over 30 sucks.
I'm convinced nothing short of total war will guarantee that I make new guy friends in the future. Most guys are walking a completely different road than I am at the moment. It took a some time, but I've come to accept that.
Yeah it is rubbish isn’t it. I’d take a war for some company. I think the only way it could happen is if you meet someone who also doesn’t currently have friends. because most people don’t have time to see their own current friends. I kinda getcha. No friends = time for writing. So that’s something.
Very funny and true. I’ve not heard yonks for…well yonks.
When we were kids - in South Wales - we reckoned a yonk was two hours.
Thanks Andrew. There's nothing briefer than a young man's yonk
Have you moved to Finland? I share this advice from a blog about making friends there . “Don’t panic about the silence”.
Nope I'm moving to Italy actually! No such problem over here
I can’t recommend it to you if you don’t actually believe it or have a genuine spiritual desire to learn more, but the Orthodox Church really gave me a social life after my high school friends moved on (or didn’t move on, which was even worse) and COVID killed any chances of a regular social life at college. In the Church, you have regular sustained contact with a group of people who have a genuine desire to meet others and connect with them as true friends.
Real life still gets in the way and makes it difficult to do fun stuff on the side, but you’re guaranteed a few hours of good conversation and face time with friends nearly every Sunday and on many Saturdays. Most people I know in the Orthodox Church have a healthy social circle that revolves around it, though I don’t know how true that is for other Christian denominations. But you can’t just go to the Orthodox Church because you want friends, or because it better accommodates your political beliefs, or some other superficial reason. There has to be a genuine desire to grow in the faith of God, and any other good thing comes out of that.
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful message. I'm not religious. I believe in god in a kind of abstract way, but dont have any desire to become a member of a religion. It sure does look cozy and friendly in there sometimes though - and I appreciate you taking the time to reach out
At least not on this landmass <3
yeah you're right! and thinking about, I guess do have friends on this landmass, just on the other side of Europe. So things are looking up
Formula 1 is fun as hell. But yeah, I'm in 2 bands, one of which has followers I'm not related to; and I still have to pursue folks to spend any off-duty time with them. It doesn't help that I work graveyard shift; + the US in general has forgotten that folks like me exist. But that's peripheral to the point, I guess.
I still try with people, but never quite connect on that level.
Maybe my time will come for formula one. I don't drive, so that probably doesn't help. That's cool you've got the band going on. That sounds like a fun social thing to be doing. That must be difficult matching up with people timezones.
I guess we just keep on trying eh. Maybe it's just a matter of hitting it off hard enough
A lot of people I work with don’t have any friends, but that’s because they’re assholes. I’d hate for the only social interaction I’d have to be through work.
I don't thinnnnnk I'm asshole, despite the mounting evidence to the contrary. I am lucky in that I work with some of my friends, who I was friends with before work, but remotely
Have you thought about offering people drugs to be your friend? Nothing says friendship like free pharmaceuticals. I'll be your friend! We’ll each take a strip of acid each and write articles about it.
haha yeah that's a good in. When I was young and popular people were always trying to buy my friendship with drugs. I took drugs, left the friendship, oldest trick in the book
Revisit the Paddy Chayefsky play and movie Marty and get a feel for the boredom of a man with man friends. Get a wife and a life.
Thanks for the reccommendation, I'll take it for a spin. haha yeah I suspect that's the case, I just need to shit out a couple of kids and get on with it. That's probably the natural hole-filler
god bless you
Why thank you