32 Comments
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Sandy Shaller's avatar

Man, I love your writing and this piece, once again, had me laughing out loud. I can see you writing books that instantly wind up in City Lights bookstore in San Francisco. You are way too your for the beat generation, but I think you're creating a modern mock cool that's in a class of its own. As I read "2 Cool for School," I thought about my own totally nerd existance until 8th grade when one of our shop teachers, Mr. Haas decided to direct a production of "Oklahoma," and my singing voice, which is still pretty good, knocked him out and I got to be a cool cowboy playing Will Parker and kissing Ado Annie in one of those bend her down and lock lips holds. Suddenly, the nerd disappeared. Bless your heart for writing this and remind me of that memory.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

aw thanks very much Sandy! That's fucking lovely to hear. An out-loud laugh is the dream! That's fucking awesome man - and cool that your voice was good enough to earn props for that. I think about the bear pit that was my school, and I don't think, even michael Jackson's voice would have protected him from the barage of insults and tangerines for starring in a play. I fucking hate how schools grinds the passions out of people. it's a dam shame. Pleased to have taken you back!

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247truth's avatar

“his rep depreciates by an aggravated assault or so” 😂😂😂

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha cheers 24/7 Truth. Because the truth don't nap

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Tali Sarnetzky's avatar

Coming from a humid and uncomfortably warm country, the only definition of cool I care about is the one describing the fridge. lol

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha I would describe my streed cred as uncomfortably humid

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Tali Sarnetzky's avatar

Oy... That is worrysome... lol BTW, cheers for the bickie recommendations. Delicious!

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha it's a worry sum game. Ah glad you liked em! Did you master the art of the dunk? Reminds me, I'm in England I should heed my own advice

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Tali Sarnetzky's avatar

Yes, as well as falling in love with Cooper's Marmalade and being an absolute optimist when I said to my friend while walking down the street: "Maybe the lions will bring the cup home." Never thought I was that funny... But I am blindly optimistic and optimistically blind.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha I was like what the fuck is cooper's marmalade! But then i looked and thought oh right that one, that's just garden variety marmalade, but maybe I've grown up on the nectar and don't know it's true worth. haha as a week-late reference for last week's article, I burst into tears when Jude Bellingham scored that last minute bicycle kick, I couldn't handle it

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Tali Sarnetzky's avatar

I'm tellling you, there is hope yet, my friend. If it happened once, it can happen again. and if not, at least we have cool songs like Three Lions by Lightening Seeds to keep us believing. Yeah, yeah, I know... I'm a softie.

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Marcia Abboud's avatar

No even mob accountants are cool 😂

You're a funny man!!

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Wrong Channel's avatar

Thanks Marcia! I'm sure as shit not cool, so that's something to cling onto

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Logan the Lobotomizer's avatar

Also, ritualistic cannibalism is all the rage in the states.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

I hear it's to die for!

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Logan the Lobotomizer's avatar

Cannibalism should be legal! I'm going to start a political organization called the World Wide Canibalism Party and run for president when I’m 35. No one will feel shame about their cannibalistic desires. A man’s gotta eat!

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Wrong Channel's avatar

Here here! I ate dick yesterday. Posted 2nd class by a willing Frankfurter I met on the dark web lite. Now this needy born again eunuch keeps bothering me. He believes we have some sort of attachment. But if I had to maintain a bond with every West German, purely on the basis of casseroling their snail mailed sausage, I'd be emotionally drained. You've got my vote.

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Daniel Catena's avatar

When in doubt, just buy a convertible!

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha yeah, that's the classic isn't it. Some 50 year old guy in shades and a red car, cruising top down with a bare arm in the breeze, thinking "I'm real hot shit", when he looks like shit warmed up

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Logan the Lobotomizer's avatar

Sometimes people need to be murdered.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

You're speaking from that heart and that can't be faulted

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Logan the Lobotomizer's avatar

Murder is cool, but you gotta spell it “murdar”. There's a pile of corpses behind every cool person. Only the coolest of the cool eat said corpses.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha behind every great man, is a great woman's corpse, half-eaten. We stand, and snack, on the corpses of giant

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

Such are the vagaries of life me ol' cicada!

I also peaked in Uni, but in those days popularity wasn't counted in Facebook likes but actual likes which were hard to come by let me tell you. However it's true that at Uni I was still cooler than my contemporary Sir Kier Starmer who wasn't called Sir at that time, just Wanker.

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha well, father, we peaked at the peak of life. No sense peaking in the late to middle ages. haha really? oh yeah he has the curse of the eternal berk about him. You should have rubbed off some cool, or just rubbed off, on him, from a reasonable height. Not as a reward mind. Not as a reward at all.

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

Are you trying to induce me to rub myself off retrospectively on your new Prime Minister? Isn't that treason or something?

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Wrong Channel's avatar

haha if he's our new priminister then I'm somebody whose rubbed off him. Splaffing from a second storey onto the smug and newly elected pate of a man of the realm is high treason and high art

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

To the Tower with this wildly fapping subversive! Place him in the antiwank boxing gloves 🥊 of chastity forthwith!

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Wrong Channel's avatar

hahaha all gloves, from the fox to the silk, are pro wank gloves

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

If you're able to rub one out wearing boxing gloves that does indeed show great determination and pluck. I'd like to shake your hand... on second thoughts better not.

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