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Sympathize utterly - the only time I got myself fired from a language school in Barcelona was a creative work enabling me to claim redundancy pay. Though it would have been so much more satisfying to march out in a huff than be canned in ignominy, the €10K payment helped to ease the disgrace. The whole enterprise folded the year after anyway, and all the others lost their jobs without any compo.

Moral of that story - Don't let the 3 strikes expire. Get a contract in place, then make yourself personally intolerable to management without breaking any rules.

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I liked your school. My school closed and I got 5G, and I couldn't believe my luck. The guy, whose business and dream it was, was breaking it to me, and I fought the grin off my face. Apparently, I could have claimed employment benefit for a year or so, but I didn't know at the time, and I regret that to this day

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¡Ay dios mío! Always think of the benefits first and foremost, my son, or you'll never be a truly accomplished slacker like me. My finest hour was when i was claiming unemployment in two countries simultaneously, shuttling between them on an express coach.

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haha father, dear father, you raise us on the doll, and you dolled out nothing but fists and belches. I know very well of your cross-border fiddling, you'd always spill the beans after a bottle or two of cabernet, and a tin or three of Heinz. Mother told me the bumpy manner in which I was conceived, and why I bare the middle name Flex. It's not short for Fleginald, like you claimed - Is it?

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Oct 11·edited Oct 11Liked by Wrong Channel

Who’s that no-account slattern your mother been calling a deadbeat? You’d literally be nothing without me, and though in fact you are nothing, that’s not my doing, it’s down to your own poor life choices, first of which was being born in this family.

As for the name: Flex is a flexible all-purpose middle name, which can become Fleginalla, Fleshallan or Fledgling depending on the lifestyle and/or sexual orientation you adopt later in life.

Be well, me bairn, go forth and prosper and if you can’t prosper don’t come asking me for loans. I’m all out of quids and down to my last 15 Turkish lire.

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hahaha I would have been conceived immaculately, with or without your dangly contribution. Typical father, you started criticising me before I'd so much a dribbled free from your corregated plumbs.

The lads at the rugger club, called me fleshlight, and then used me as one, despite my protests. By the end of it, I had no grip on my general orientation, let alone sexual.

I will strive to make you proud, dearest dada. But to do so, I will need a negligible advancement of 4 thousand Francs. Why don't you remortage that ghastly hut you've been holed up in since Putin threw the Sochi olympics

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I've thrown open my Swiss Bank account to you without reserve, sonny boy, there may even be some residue of the payments I got from Boris Johnson for fixing his Brexit bus and twiddling his knob. Who can tell at this late stage?

I'm saddened to think of the treatment you received at the sweaty paws of the rugger chaps, but it all came good when they won the Rugby World Cup after you'd sated their debauched lusts.

But you can forget inheriting my slack shack, it's in my revised will that your new stepmum Winona Ryder will be mentioned as heiress and new land queen after I'm gone.

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