The Party that Never Stops
P-A-R-T… Y? Good question.
When the party never stops, the party never really gets started.
Sessioning past your thirties, cardiovascularly, is not for the faint of heart. Forty-nothings crank up a quiet night in with the same voltage twenty-somethings wind down a three-day-bender. For these bean-splitting has-beens, the night is over well before it began.
From that first stiff-necked wiggle, the evening is already on its last legs - or, would be, were anybody standing. A retired clubber won’t dust off their boogie shoes, even for an absolute barnburner of a housewarming. The soul-ascending effects of MDMA no longer afford an adult the freedom for dancing behind closed doors.
With one foot in the grave, and another in the rave, padded quilts are now tell-tale drug paraphernalia. The house-proud sesh-gremlin hunkers down with all the creature comforts their younger selves could never dream of. Sinking deep into a grown-up pillow-fort - but they can’t smoke inside for fear of blimburning the host’s layaway ottoman. A crisp sound system - only you can’t think of a follow-up banger for love nor money. Annoyingly, us child-free couples would actually have the emotional and financial capital for barter.
The vibe of a 30+ party is nearer a support group than a rave. Talk turns to: ailments, buy-to-let mortgages, grief, first words, career progression, proposals. With a lifetime’s friendship quota met, wounded party animals piece together their splintered recollections of the same old anecdotes.
An evening that’s been nailed down for months can never slip and slide out of control. Calling it a day, when it’s clearly still night. A little deeper into the game of life, sanity is now the limiter of a bender, not money.
A sleepless partygoer overhears the voices of distant friends on the long journey home - but with the isolation of adult life, they find these echoes of friendship comforting.
If you liked this, check out
The Magic of Afterparties
Do Real Men Cry?
5 Phases of a Pillhead
A farewell to laughing gas




We talked about pensions the last time we had a party. Rock and roll 🤘
Just when the internet has lost its luster for promise, you wake me up with a pinch of truth!
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